Online Dating Horror Stories

Well, the joke could have been worse, so I'll give you credit for that.

Did you know that historically Christianity regards sex as unclean partly because of the syphilis epidemic?

Christianity doesn't regard sex as unclean.

It regards sex as holy.

  On 1/7/2020 at 10:15 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

her first pic is of herself posing in front of a stack of modular synths

Be careful.

?

Ahaha not too far off.  Her photo was indeed black and white.  Possibly it was a pic of one of her heros?  Looked similar to the woman in her other photos though.  I just went back to check, and it would appear she's deleted her profile.  Guess I scared her off with my "nice modulars" come on approach.  Now she'll never do the online dating thing again.  /life ruined.

She's absolutely lurking in this thread.  Probably kakapo.

Oh snap! The one that got away... 

Not really a horror story (for me anyway), was with a girl several years back, she got a little menstrual blood on the sheets, so we stripped them off and saw period stains from 2 previous girls.  lol

Women posing with dead fish - is this a common dating profile thing all over the world, or just where I live?

just where u live

Good thing women holding dead fish just so happens to be my fetish.  You could say it's my... dead fetish.  New porn genre invented.

It will spread pornhub like those incest videos

Finally, a proper horror story:

I was swipin' through profiles, and I found one that seemed a'ight aside from some questionable spotify listening habits.  But you know, shouldn't really matter, right?  Anyway, figured I'd look up her number one most played artist.  It was this:

^i've heard much worse country songs than that one. hell, i've heard a lot worse of any type of stuff out there on the radio these days.

just imagine what she'd think about your music choices :)

I want to edit that video to just have them standing there in silence, smiling, after the guy says the punchline "that's just how we roll." No laughing. Just silence and maybe highway sounds with crickets.

Now there's a fun date idea.  All my dates just want to go for a beer or a coffee.

  Quote

An unfortunate singleton has been forced to swear off dating apps after his date sent his own message back to him. Harrison, believed to be from Leeds, took to Twitter to promise he’s deleting Tinder, alongside a screenshot of the most uncomfortable exchange ever.

https://www.unilad.co.uk/life/guy-deletes-tinder-after-woman-sends-screengrabs-of-his-own-message/

Oh shit - I also have a rachel from Tinder.  My last message exchange, as it turns out.  Red flag.

first scam attempt. the whole chatting experience was dodgy. at one point she sent me a pic of a passport that was close to her appearance but had conflicting information like different birth location than she had told me.. also the passport seemed a bit off and who the fuck sends a pic of a passport? all she had to do, were she an actual real person was send a stupid video.  the echange carried on for a minute after what's below then she blocked me. lol. i deleted al the things we chatted with and chat history. wtf. people are lame as fuck. 

Q - I need a favor. can I have $325?

A - You believe in god so just pray for it.

  Quote

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2020 app dating's been a bust.  3 different day-of cancels (from 3 different women), and 1 date at an arcade where she was put off that I didn't ask more questions (games are too distracting for me to engage in a convo of much depth, so my comments were mostly observations of the moment, friendly banter... though I also wasn't attracted to her at all.  I think if I were, it would still be the same thing because arcade).  That's all I got.  Thought by this point there'd be at least some horror to speak of, but no. Just disappointments.  Oh, there was one really good date at the start of the year, but the woman in question travelled abroad for 3 weeks immediately after, and then the followup date attempt was one of the cancels... actually she was a repeat canceller haha.  6 cancels for 2020 in that case, 1 uneventful date, 1 good date to kick things off.  Anyone got some horror?

Nope, been crickets ever since I pinged from 35 to 36. And now it's 37 fuhgeddaboudit. Where's that noose emoji?

(my ex has been inviting herself over for regular fucks tho, so I got that going for me. She apparently has a new bf too )

Hi, 

I am now an expert in online dating. Sad or not sad , it's a fact. Over the last couple of years I managed to build up a very good filtering system and I usually know what to expect when I go on a date. 
There are some things you definitely have to look for: full body picture, picture where you can see the teeth, try to somehow find out the person's VOICE. I went on a date once and I could not stand the person's voice, I can't remember anything else only that I could not stand his voice. I usually chat to everyone over whatsapp and I send them a voice message if I'm interested in meeting them; they will reciprocate the message most of the time. I also quickly realised that good music taste does not equal good personality or good sex. Yoga usually the indicator of those things though. I hope this has helped, please do not hesitate to contact me for more advice, hahahaha.

Love, 
Renata