Online Dating Horror Stories

Tinder is the bane of the first world

  On 12/17/2019 at 6:10 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Incredibly I have not come across one of those yet.  I should ask them if they hand out in secrete.  (I still don't know the origin of that bit of watmm lore)

All I remember is that the in-house meme originated from a thread started back in 2010. I guess I could dig up a link via search, but I'm too lazy atm

Went on a third date with this one woman.  Things are going well, but she dropped a bit of a shocker tonight - turns out she was married to the guy who was my brother's best friend all through childhood/high school, and my brother was the best man at their wedding.  Fucking nuts!  She became aware of who I was during our first date, because a guy approached our table asking me is I was the guy who made a certain album (that no one but a handful of my friends should even know about), which prompted her to say "oh so you're THAT Eric.  i've heard that album too!"  The likelihood of 2 people I met on the same night even being aware of that album's existence seemed almost impossibly small. I couldn't believe it.  But that was entirely flattering.  This news that she was married to that guy who I've known as a family friend for as long as I remember is... well, it's a bit of a moral dilemma honestly.  I feel really strange about it.  It's a bit of a surreal situation to be in.  I would have met her on a few occasions before, but she looked VERY different then.  At the moment our status is friendly, but with some talk about sexual interests and things like that.  I could try to push it into a more friendly direction, but I do find her very attractive.  God damn it.   

Yes it's difficult. Vaginal sex seems inappropriate in that situation

... the guy in question just accepted my fb friend request, which must have been sent years ago.  Interesting...  so this could get really weird really fast.

He will find this thread and register on WATMM. Maybe it's drillkicker?

Shit, it totally is.

If it was your brother then fair enough, but his best friend?! Fuck that guy, I say you two bang. 

That seems to be the general consensus.

keep acting like it’s sorta forbidden and wrong and y’all shouldn’t be dating, it’ll make the sex way more hot

  On 12/22/2019 at 2:14 PM, darreichungsform said:

Yes it's difficult. Vaginal sex seems inappropriate in that situation

Anal sex (that means sex into the bum hole) sounds like a viable option, though. On your next date, you should ask her is she does that. If she says yes you should present her your bum hole and say: "Do the anal bum sex to my hole please"

Ah I see.  I thought you were referring to banal, and implying that I should ask ask if she does it, then if she says "yes" maybe netflix 'n' chill for a bit.  I suppose I can multitask tho imho tyvm merry xmas.

Have you guys come across this "sapiophile" phenomena?  It's where people appreciate other people not being dumb, but instead of just mentioning that they're attracted to intelligence they turn it into a weird thing.  Someone just pulled that card on me. 

I just dloaded tiinder for the third time and it's just wall to wall basic bitches. 

Can you use Tinder for finding friends or is it just for sex ?  I've heard of people using it for other things but I don't understand how that works.

Some people mention in their profiles that they're looking for friends, not hookups.  All the apps have that faction of users.

Bumble has a BFF feature. Never used it tho because why would I want just a friend unless we can also have sex (I have lots of sex with all my friends*)

  On 12/26/2019 at 7:41 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Have you guys come across this "sapiophile" phenomena?  It's where people appreciate other people not being dumb, but instead of just mentioning that they're attracted to intelligence they turn it into a weird thing.  Someone just pulled that card on me. 

have seen plenty of that. from my biased secondhand opinion that’s just people who want to be/seem smart but aren’t, it’s just a version of the ‘sorry but I’m so nerdy!’ thing. I assume. 
 

*i don’t have any friends.

This woman does seem to be quite bright, but maybe overly concerned with coming across that way too.  Will be meeting her tomorrow.  I'm a bit apprehensive, because I feel like she's built me up a bit in her head and I may not live up to the person she's expecting me to be.  Or it could go the other way, which has its own potential problems.  BUT we might also really hit it off.  Who knows?  That's half the fun I guess.

  On 12/28/2019 at 1:55 AM, auxien said:

Bumble has a BFF feature. Never used it tho because why would I want just a friend unless we can also have sex (I have lots of sex with all my friends*)

 

have seen plenty of that. from my biased secondhand opinion that’s just people who want to be/seem smart but aren’t, it’s just a version of the ‘sorry but I’m so nerdy!’ thing. I assume. 
 

 

 

 

*i don’t have any friends.

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Bumble doesn't work. No sex

^bees have lots of sex lots of hot buzzy sex

  On 12/28/2019 at 2:34 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

This woman does seem to be quite bright, but maybe overly concerned with coming across that way too.  Will be meeting her tomorrow.  I'm a bit apprehensive, because I feel like she's built me up a bit in her head and I may not live up to the person she's expecting me to be.  Or it could go the other way, which has its own potential problems.  BUT we might also really hit it off.  Who knows?  That's half the fun I guess.

you are meeting way too many women. you are a dateslut. i am publicly shaming you for this.

jk ofc good luck with it m8, curious about how the sapiophile thing turns out.

I sex bees, they die

  On 12/28/2019 at 2:09 PM, auxien said:

^bees have lots of sex lots of hot buzzy sex

you are meeting way too many women. you are a dateslut. i am publicly shaming you for this.

 

jk ofc good luck with it m8, curious about how the sapiophile thing turns out.

This will be #6 since October.  That does seem like a fair bit, but not given how much of this swiping BS I've gone through to make it happen.  It is kind of nuts though.  If I were to do this the old fashioned analogue way... well, it happened once in the span of 3 years since my last relationship.  So this is far more efficient.

Just strolled in to say that “sapiophile” is fucking hilarious. 
 

but now that I’m here, the piss story reminds me of being at an ultimate tournament where my friend and I both woke up to the sound of another sleep-pissing all over a fellow passed out on the bed. We didn’t want to stop him cause a) what if he turned the stream on us, and b) epic lulz. The guy getting pissed in briefly waved his hand about but continued sleeping blissfully. Told them both about it the next day when he woke up wondering why the bed was soaked. 

Well that date happened.  She was no poser smartypants, definitely had the brains to back it up.  The convo was very one sided though, with her recalling personal details/stories/knowledge in great detail, and me trying my best to take it all in.  I find people who talk that much to be a bit exhausting, and definitely could not be around that on a regular basis.  Any time there was a point for me to take the reins I found myself at a loss for words.  Too focused on whatever she was going off on.  So I mostly just asked questions.  Despite my being rather dull, she did ask if I wanted to go for a beer (this is after we'd had a coffee and walked around for a while).  But I had a rehearsal scheduled that evening, so we went our separate ways.  Genuinely interesting person, but not someone I could see myself jelling with easily.

Meanwhile, the one who was married to my bro's best friend asked me what I was doing for NYE, and is now coming to the same party.  It's all coming to a head!! 

No horror stories yet though.  Sorry guys.  Someone please post something horrifying.