chessy Posted November 4, 2019 Report Share Posted November 4, 2019 Yeah but without the charm. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751055 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted November 4, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2019 On 11/4/2019 at 9:02 PM, chessy said: I saw him later,buying a tray of chips which he then poured into a blue plastic bag which he had produced from his pocket. Nice - I'll have to remember that life hack. I have friendly hang out date today, in theory, and then a date date on Wed which I'm really exaited about (former archaeologist, wants to hit up karaoke after drinks, has a Depeche Mode tattoo, wittiest text banter of anyone thus far). Again, seems really cool and down to earth, so I don't know that I'll have any juicy stories for this thread. But maybe she'll be a closet psychopath. One can hope. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Zephyr_Nova's signature Hide all signatures http://zephyrnova.bandcamp.com/releases My noise: http://cthulhudetonator.bandcamp.com My band: http://theskylitup.bandcamp.com Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751059 Share on other sites More sharing options...
drillkicker Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 That was the most British thing I've read in a good while. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide drillkicker's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751119 Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 If I ever want to leave a date early I'll scoop my food into a bag oscillik 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide YEK's signature Hide all signatures Reveal hidden contents !:/music Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751142 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lada Laika Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 1:53 AM, yekker said: If I ever want to leave a date early I'll scoop my food into a bag An old friend of a friend once produced a plastic bag filled with chicken after I offhandedly mentioned I was hungry while we were at a bar. You’re god damn right I ate some of that pocket chicken. Sometimes you just have to live life on the edge. hello spiral, Extralife and cwmbrancity 2 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Lada Laika's signature Hide all signatures https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751147 Share on other sites More sharing options...
david1806 Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 One night I took a girl home, had a great old evening - except when I woke up I could smell shit, so I followed my nose and she had opened up a drawer and had a great big shit in it. So I didn't want to destroy the poor girl, so I took a photo and when I jumped back into bed I just kinda really gently approached it and used the photo as a way of showing her. Needless to say, she was fucking mortified, poor lass. Anyway, I fucked off and left her to it, and when I got home she had spring cleaned the whole flat, from top to bottom. Result!! Never saw here again though............. MaartenVC, Zephyr_Nova, Braintree and 3 others 1 2 1 2 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751154 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salvatorin Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 jesus christ lol Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Salvatorin's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751156 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted November 5, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 Mortified like... she accidentally took a shit in drawer? I don't know how someone manages that not on purpose. You guys must have had some good drugs. Or... you went on a date with Fred McGriff's sister. He once peed on the bedroom TV while the missus slept. Legend. Anyway, good story. Keep 'em coming! My today date had to cancel due to too much work. Nothing too horrific, sorry to say. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Zephyr_Nova's signature Hide all signatures http://zephyrnova.bandcamp.com/releases My noise: http://cthulhudetonator.bandcamp.com My band: http://theskylitup.bandcamp.com Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751157 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chessy Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 Pocket chicken and shit in a drawer. Christ almighty... Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751234 Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscillik Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 welcome to watmm chessy 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide oscillik's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751240 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdamAnchorman Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 3:30 PM, chessy said: Pocket chicken and shit in a drawer. I would think that the former often leads to the latter... Lada Laika, dingformung, chessy and 1 other 1 2 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide EdamAnchorman's signature Hide all signatures glowing in beige on the national stage Reveal hidden contents On 10/31/2007 at 9:17 PM, 'thejacketloose' said: On 10/31/2007 at 9:28 PM, 'Joyrex' said: Is that Eric Roberts? On 10/31/2007 at 9:31 PM, 'thejacketloose' said: Oh yeah. Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751243 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chessy Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 Alright , seeing as how I feel like you guys and I really are at ease with each other now... This one didn't actually get to the dating thing but we were swapping nice messages , a little flirty banter , you know. His name was Alec and he had an epic beard and he seemed charming . He sent me a picture of his dog . Lovely. Then another pic of the dog . Okay . Then another... Turns out he was looking for a 'pedigree chum ' for his pooch. Not only that he told me his ex wife had been on more than stroking terms with the animal. So obviously , I'm a little bit miffed by this. "So where would you be while I'm being seen to by your dog then? Filming it??" I texted furiously. *I'm not a f*ckin' sicko u cheeky c*** !" he texted back. (I'd just like to point out that I am not interested at all in any type of relationship with anything or anybody whose idea of personal hygiene involves licking their own arse . Thank you.) dingformung, Lada Laika, Zephyr_Nova and 1 other 4 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751263 Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbpete Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 6:06 PM, chessy said: I am not interested at all in any type of relationship with anything or anybody whose idea of personal hygiene involves licking their own arse . Thank you. Hey, everyone's gotta help save the environment in their own way - Mine's by not using loo roll chessy and Lada Laika 1 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures I haven't eaten a Wagon Wheel since 07/11/07... ilovecubus.co.uk - 25ml of mp3 taken twice daily. Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751265 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lada Laika Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 “It’s 2019, who doesn’t eat ass?” Actual quote from a random girl at my bar a few months ago oscillik and dingformung 1 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Lada Laika's signature Hide all signatures https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751288 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chessy Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 8:09 PM, Lada Laika said: “It’s 2019, who doesn’t eat ass?” Actual quote from a random girl at my bar a few months ago dingformung, EdamAnchorman and Lada Laika 1 2 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751290 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoomTssPhace Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 She makes a valid point Lada Laika and oscillik 2 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751295 Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwmbrancity Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 3:18 AM, david1806 said: One night I took a girl home, had a great old evening - except when I woke up I could smell shit, so I followed my nose and she had opened up a drawer and had a great big shit in it. So I didn't want to destroy the poor girl, so I took a photo and when I jumped back into bed I just kinda really gently approached it and used the photo as a way of showing her. Needless to say, she was fucking mortified, poor lass. Anyway, I fucked off and left her to it, and when I got home she had spring cleaned the whole flat, from top to bottom. Result!! Never saw here again though............. Expand Et tu Brute https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296 oscillik 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 3:59 AM, Zephyr_Nova said: Mortified like... she accidentally took a shit in drawer? I don't know how someone manages that not on purpose. You guys must have had some good drugs. Or... you went on a date with Fred McGriff's sister. He once peed on the bedroom TV while the missus slept. Legend. Anyway, good story. Keep 'em coming! My today date had to cancel due to too much work. Nothing too horrific, sorry to say. She had to clean a flat and a particularly shitty drawer? Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures Follow WATMM on Twitter: @WATMMOfficial Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751299 Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 sleepwalking? Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide dingformung's signature Hide all signatures Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751301 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lada Laika Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 8:18 PM, BoomTssPhace said: She makes a valid point You gotta stay in the AirBnB with us next time. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Lada Laika's signature Hide all signatures https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751322 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/4/2019 at 9:02 PM, chessy said: I joined a dating site after much cajoling off my family.Rejected some very odd would be suitors for reasons I'd rather not go into in a first post.Eventually I spoke to a nice bloke. Well he seemed okay until I met him outside a local pub.His trousers had a suspect shiny patch at the , uh , frontal area and after he bought himself a pint he asked if all my hair was real . When I assured him it was he said that I couldn't come back to his flat with him as my hair would block up his sink...I made my excuses and left. I saw him later,buying a tray of chips which he then poured into a blue plastic bag which he had produced from his pocket. Oh and his first name was Cliffort. Yes...with a T. Expand Maybe his entire apartment is a sink. Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Braintree's signature Hide all signatures colindyer.bandcamp.com williamsbraintree.bandcamp.com Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751328 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoomTssPhace Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 10:09 PM, Lada Laika said: You gotta stay in the AirBnB with us next time. You gotta take me out to dinner first Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751335 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lada Laika Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 10:48 PM, BoomTssPhace said: You gotta take me out to dinner first Do you like Fazolis Hugh Mughnus 1 Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide Lada Laika's signature Hide all signatures https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751340 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoomTssPhace Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/5/2019 at 11:02 PM, Lada Laika said: Do you like Fazolis Butthole for dessert either way so cheers Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751343 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted November 5, 2019 Report Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/4/2019 at 9:02 PM, chessy said: I joined a dating site after much cajoling off my family.Rejected some very odd would be suitors for reasons I'd rather not go into in a first post.Eventually I spoke to a nice bloke. Well he seemed okay until I met him outside a local pub.His trousers had a suspect shiny patch at the , uh , frontal area and after he bought himself a pint he asked if all my hair was real . When I assured him it was he said that I couldn't come back to his flat with him as my hair would block up his sink...I made my excuses and left. I saw him later,buying a tray of chips which he then poured into a blue plastic bag which he had produced from his pocket. Oh and his first name was Cliffort. Yes...with a T. Expand On 11/5/2019 at 2:12 AM, Lada Laika said: An old friend of a friend once produced a plastic bag filled with chicken after I offhandedly mentioned I was hungry while we were at a bar. You’re god damn right I ate some of that pocket chicken. Sometimes you just have to live life on the edge. We need to get bag chips and pocket chicken together! Also pocket chicken sounds like an euphemism Thanks Haha Confused Sad Facepalm Burger Farnsworth Big Brain Like × Quote Hide all signatures Follow WATMM on Twitter: @WATMMOfficial Link to comment https://forum.watmm.com/topic/97653-online-dating-horror-stories/page/4/#findComment-2751345 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts