stupid first world problems you're dealing with

Pretty sure my left ear was ringing at about 622 Hz after listening to music too loudly on headphones. I thought it might've been some kind of background machinery at first, but there was no panning, so to speak, whenever I turned my head. Ear ringing usually seems to occur at a much higher tonal frequency. Odd.

That.... is a very specific frequency lol.

Is it gone?

I gather from your ability to find the specific frequency that you started playing with pd - awesome!

PD had nothing to do with it unfortunately. But I was able to approximate the ringing to a D# at the fifth octave and calculate the frequency accordingly.

Ah, I see. That actually would have been easier in PD. What you could have done is connect up a number box to an oscillator to a speaker, and drag the number around until it matches your tinnitus.

I always wondered if playing the same frequency as the tinnitus had any effect on it but I never bothered. At the very least it seems like there would be some trippy phasing effects.

  On 1/23/2016 at 5:06 PM, sweepstakes said:

Ah, I see. That actually would have been easier in PD. What you could have done is connect up a number box to an oscillator to a speaker, and drag the number around until it matches your tinnitus.

 

I always wondered if playing the same frequency as the tinnitus had any effect on it but I never bothered. At the very least it seems like there would be some trippy phasing effects.

Maybe if you detune the oscillator slightly it might yield something to that effect.

I remember back when Stomper Ultra ++ would automatically display the frequency of whatever oscillator you'd use on the drum sounds, which is where I pretty much derived that understanding in the first place. But PD might be calling my name soon enough.

I can't turn my head left or right without some considerable pain. First noticed it last night at a curry house, woke up early this morning thinking I was paralysed (only for a few seconds but it fucking hurt yo), and now as I sit on the computer I have to turn my whole desk chair to the side to pick up my beer which is on a small coffee-like table instead of just looking left and reaching for it.

getting off psych meds. zoloft and high dose of klonopin. realizing the heart of my anguish is lack of confidence instilled in my from me frrom early years. ADD doesnt help.
i only see what i "think" i cant do. I only see the negative in me. i have to stop this pattern cycle and use what i can do well and or find it

  On 1/23/2016 at 6:23 PM, ambermonk said:

 

  On 1/23/2016 at 5:06 PM, sweepstakes said:

Ah, I see. That actually would have been easier in PD. What you could have done is connect up a number box to an oscillator to a speaker, and drag the number around until it matches your tinnitus.

 

I always wondered if playing the same frequency as the tinnitus had any effect on it but I never bothered. At the very least it seems like there would be some trippy phasing effects.

Maybe if you detune the oscillator slightly it might yield something to that effect.

 

I remember back when Stomper Ultra ++ would automatically display the frequency of whatever oscillator you'd use on the drum sounds, which is where I pretty much derived that understanding in the first place. But PD might be calling my name soon enough.

 

Yeah, exactly. PD, Max, Reaktor, etc. are great for that kind of precision tuning you used to do w/ Stomper and Cool Edit, only you can tweak them more in real time, automate them, everything in between and other things you never imagined. You can also do all kinds of math on those, mix them, use controllers or whatever to be the general of your synth army. It's like synth legos.

And you certainly don't have to dive into the deep end right away, there's plenty of fun to be had with a homemade two-operator FM synth and a delay line with feedback, for example.

Stomper and Cool Edit...those were the days. Not the most efficient way to make entire trax tho lol

FWP time again. Got woken up at about 1:30 this morning by a 7.1 magnitude earthquake. At least nobody was hurt, according to the news.

I smoked weed for the very first time. It was fucking funny as fuck, lolololol, interesting experience. Tho I told my mom (since I'm bad at keeping secrets, and because I don't think I did something wrong) and despite she understanding, I think she will think differently about me.

Oh well.

What did she say when you told her about your first wank?

  On 1/24/2016 at 6:11 PM, Bechuga said:

What did she say when you told her about your first wank?

Best reply post of year so far, [[-;

please don't tell us about your first wank logak, not sure sometimes where you're coming from so I thought it best to mention that, heh.

  On 1/16/2016 at 11:33 PM, delet... said:

 

  On 1/16/2016 at 10:19 PM, Zephyr_Nova said:

 

  On 1/16/2016 at 7:01 AM, delet... said:

Well at least procrastination involves doing something, I have no drive whatsoever, should get my thyroid checked but yep, can't be bothered.

It involves not doing something for an extended period of time, so provided you do one day get around to checking that thyroid, it's pretty much the same. At least in my sense it is. Driven by the lack of drive and all that.

Yeah, I gathered that we were in the same boat, but you know, one up ya and all that message board jazz. /recommends all the usual suggestions, exercise, sleep, diet, disconnecting from distractors like the net to force your mind to take joy from activities that will actually benefit you, it's too easy to get our dopamine fix from useless inactivities these days, our mental reward system has been hijacked by social networking, funny picture blogs and news feeds. We need to cut it back to a specified short amount per day or even week, be our own self parent, heh, then just get on with rewriting our brain's reward centre.

/goes to d/l anime, after a walk though

Well I started doing this, except for today I've mostly kept away and not interacted, which is the driver for return visits real isn't it, and haven't replaced it with too many other distractions, been going for long walks, in the sun, in the middle of the day, it's hella hot, but it's required. In the past I've just completely disconnected for a fe months at a time, perhaps I'm mature enough now to use in moderation, haha, nwae, laets, was a bit naughty today and went overboard a touch.

  On 1/24/2016 at 6:11 PM, Bechuga said:

What did she say when you told her about your first wank?

first wank problems

  On 1/24/2016 at 7:01 PM, delet... said:

 

  On 1/24/2016 at 6:11 PM, Bechuga said:

What did she say when you told her about your first wank?

Best reply post of year so far, [[-;

 

please don't tell us about your first wank logak, not sure sometimes where you're coming from so I thought it best to mention that, heh.

 

i love youall

nearly 2 months since I rolled my ankle and it's still hurting, still can't run. physio's helped some but how long is this going to take, bah.

  On 1/23/2016 at 9:18 PM, marf said:

getting off psych meds. zoloft and high dose of klonopin. realizing the heart of my anguish is lack of confidence instilled in my from me frrom early years. ADD doesnt help.

i only see what i "think" i cant do. I only see the negative in me. i have to stop this pattern cycle and use what i can do well and or find it

have you looked at EMDR?

it can address complex trauma even if its a complete mindfuck at times (1 tip, dont take intoxicants for approx 48hrs after each session).

if yer honest with the therapist its a proven method in excavating and eliminating these older often buried childhood themes.

its helped me enormously thru some very sticky times, just make sure the people you might access are accredited cos you want an experienced hand at the tiller.

u can access it via the NHS here but only in certain areas across Britain, but it removed a series of uber-toxic influences from my own life and even though i'm going back to it for a short period, its a proven methodology/practice with masses of data proving the outcomes dont lie.

if u wanna know anything about the process or the techniques, just send us a pm,,,,, (absolute discretion assured of course)

my lover died in my house at the weekend.

there are some theories but all i know is she was happy, no suicide, and we dont know about the circumstances until post mortem.

i was asleep and found her too late.

baths kill too many people, sober or high or whatever, look after your loved ones if they are in the bath all it takes is one slip and you lose someone forever.

and i dont know how to cope, i need counselling and support but they dont prepare you for this shit. last thing she said to me was i am having a bath, kissed me on the forehead and went upstairs a happy girl. everything else is just noise, i found her too late.

my crazy rationalized brain says oh i hope she did some drugs or something and felt no pain but my emotional head says why the fuck would she need drugs if she was so happy.

it's a fucked up tragedy for no reason does anyone on watmm have any advice for bereavement? i need to go to work occupy myself and after hours continue her legacy by doing something good for the world.

stay safe guys you dont know how much you've got even if you feel you drew a short straw you didn;t.

I'm sorry fenton, I have no advice beyond, time. And take a week to catch up with a caring family member maybe.

big hugs, luvf dleet

i'm so sorry to hear that fenton. alot of deaths in my life/world lately. i find myself talking about it alot, kinda morbid, not upset but just thinking about death. which i guess is an ok thing to do, think about afterlife and loved ones, if you believe in that.

  On 1/26/2016 at 2:22 AM, fenton said:

my lover died in my house at the weekend.

 

there are some theories but all i know is she was happy, no suicide, and we dont know about the circumstances until post mortem.

 

 

i was asleep and found her too late.

 

 

baths kill too many people, sober or high or whatever, look after your loved ones if they are in the bath all it takes is one slip and you lose someone forever.

 

 

 

and i dont know how to cope, i need counselling and support but they dont prepare you for this shit. last thing she said to me was i am having a bath, kissed me on the forehead and went upstairs a happy girl. everything else is just noise, i found her too late.

 

my crazy rationalized brain says oh i hope she did some drugs or something and felt no pain but my emotional head says why the fuck would she need drugs if she was so happy.

 

it's a fucked up tragedy for no reason does anyone on watmm have any advice for bereavement? i need to go to work occupy myself and after hours continue her legacy by doing something good for the world.

 

 

stay safe guys you dont know how much you've got even if you feel you drew a short straw you didn;t.

fuck. that's tough, man. godspeed.

if you work in an office, I would advise against going back to work. I mean, it depends on your circumstances and what kind of work you do/who you work with, but I know if that happened to me I would take some time off. not too much cos I'd start feeling useless, but enough to get over the worst of it. trying to go back to work when you're carrying all that baggage and have to deal with other people professionally can be very trying, but like I said, it depends on your personal circumstances. maybe you can handle it.

other than that I can't think of what to suggest other than to keep talking to people and not become withdrawn. talk it out.

That's horrible, Fenton... I couldn't even imagine that happening. My only piece of advice would be that once you've taken time to grieve and the situation has some closure that you keep yourself somewhat busy, surround yourself in loved ones and friends, let yourself be open with those people - never feel like you're annoying someone when grieving, it helps to let it all out...

If you shared love and gave love, that is everything one can really give, and she can feel that on this realm of consciousness or the next. I'm sorry for your loss man

I'm so sorry fenton :(

I can't imagine how traumatizing that must have been...just remember that we're here for you, Fenton.