stupid first world problems you're dealing with

  On 1/26/2016 at 8:27 AM, ambermonk said:

I can't imagine how traumatizing that must have been...just remember that we're here for you, Fenton.

This.

I'd love to offer some sort of wisdom, but everyone else has touched on what needed to be said.

Absolutely here if you want to chat Fenton, sometimes it helps to vent to a stranger.

That's awful Fenton, I'm sorry.

That sounds horrible beyond words. I am sorry for your loss, Fenton. Dealing with grief is such a personal thing, I'm really not sure what advice to give. Venting to close friends or family might be helpful. Or if you make art, incorporating some of this experience into it may be cathartic. That was one of the most useful things for me when dealing with the recent death of a loved one. That thing you said about continuing her memory through contributing good to the world is fantastic advice to yourself. She'd be happy about that I'm sure.

So sorry to hear that Fenton. All the best to you.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

Oh man, I feel for you Fenton. You got to let yourself process it, try not to blame or over analyse it too much, you'll drive yourself insane. Just take one day at a time doing normal things. It's going to be real tough man.

We all go through bereavement in life just some people get a bum deal and have to deal with worst case scenarios, it's some weird messed up lottery of chance. It will make you stronger as long as you don't let it destroy you. I have been through similar but not the same at all so I cannot tell you how to grieve, only tell you that it's ok to process it however you want without causing more hurt and harm.

Good luck man, thinking of you.

it was like a week ago when i told a friend how no-one around me dies and how lucky i was but i guess you can go years before life comes to get you

work is fucked up i had to tell a select few people to monitor me and give me slack. i could take time off but i am a big dwelling self destroyer when i need to be so maybe these tasks will get me through

when people made morbid jokes or anything around me that was pretty much enough to walk out at times but i got to stay strong

:( look after yourselves everyone

I've always been a little hard of hearing, it's neurological I was born with it, but lately it's becoming apparent that it's gotten a little worse... this kinda scares me. In all honesty I've needed new hearing aids for quite a while, but the damn things are fucking expensive, even with insurance. I don't know if it's further damage I've done by not protecting what I do have back when I used to play live shows or go to concerts more often, or because I tend to turn things up probably louder than they should be (especially in the car), or if it's nothing I did and my nerves are just deteriorating more... I know I should go to the audiologist but I'm kinda afraid to find out more, also because of the mentioned costs... This has been eating at me lately.

fenton fuck. take care of yourself man. let this whole community know if you need anything. i'm sorry brother.

i wish i could be around right now to just...whatever you felt like.

#nohomo

#homoifnecessary

That's tragic, Fenton. I'm really sorry.

I recommend that you keep your mind a bit preoccupied until you feel like you can deal with it without falling to pieces.

My friend's dad died and another friend's grandmother died as well. 'Tis the season.

There's a bloody tampon in the parking area

and because of the rain, there's a giant blood trail behind it

tempted to snap a pic of it

Also, the Teabagger Governor of my state wants to bring back the guillotine for drug dealers.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/26/politics/paul-lepage-maine-guillotine/

I am hungry, but the line to the lunch cafeteria is too long and I can't be bothered to queue. And now I am forced to wait in the study room until it clears, even if I want to get home and start writing (which I will probably procrastinate about anyways, but the thought is there to be productive, that's something at least).

blog sites that don't date their articles foh.

  On 1/26/2016 at 12:51 AM, cwmbrancity said:

 

  On 1/23/2016 at 9:18 PM, marf said:

getting off psych meds. zoloft and high dose of klonopin. realizing the heart of my anguish is lack of confidence instilled in my from me frrom early years. ADD doesnt help.

i only see what i "think" i cant do. I only see the negative in me. i have to stop this pattern cycle and use what i can do well and or find it

 

 

have you looked at EMDR?

im in the usa. ill look into it.

i spent 5 days in hospital due to benzo withdrawal. its a nightmare. i fucked up once. took too much. my psych doc thinks im a drug seeker now. he gave me thorazine (an old 60's chemical lobotomy drug) instead of klonopin. they cold turkey-ed me from 3mg of klonopin to a lobotomy drug. fucking cunts. i had to go to my GP to get a refill. now im trying to ween off properly with klonopin(thankfully). nightmare. i cant wait until im off all this junk and out of the psych loop. the sched II drugs automatically create suspicion with docs and nurses if you mess up and take to much or lose it. they never believe a word you say

  On 1/26/2016 at 9:25 PM, fenton said:

it was like a week ago when i told a friend how no-one around me dies and how lucky i was but i guess you can go years before life comes to get you

 

 

work is fucked up i had to tell a select few people to monitor me and give me slack. i could take time off but i am a big dwelling self destroyer when i need to be so maybe these tasks will get me through

 

 

when people made morbid jokes or anything around me that was pretty much enough to walk out at times but i got to stay strong

 

:( look after yourselves everyone

That's terrible Fenton, I can't imagine what you're going through right now... Please get help if you're having trouble coping by yourself. Take care of yourself and work on keeping your mind together one day at a time.

Shit, Fenton, I'm so sorry

Been working from 8 am to 11 pm for the past couple of weeks. Weekends included.

The bags under my eyes are getting huge.

So I decide a 46'' TV is just too small for me now, i want 55''. Trying to raise funds for the 55'' so put the 46'' Bravia up for sale, a lot of interest, presumably it's getting sold tomorrow which will leave me with no TV. Decided earlier I now want 4k. Ideas just snowball. Hopefully an extended period of no TV will get me reading more.

the bike i was planning to ride to work this morning had a flat tire so i had to ride a different bike that was not my first choice.

^^^^ sounds absurd in any context.

and Fenton.. damn. i hope you get some support and can find a way to cope that is ultimately healthy and cathartic. heart goes out to you. can't imagine that situation. hugs to you man.

After reading the Haswell interview I'm getting modular lust again. Should probably just find cleverer ways to use my Octatrack.

I need to do the dishes, but I don't want to.

i'm at work

i've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell

I've got way too much cowbell, but no fever or prescription.

  On 1/30/2016 at 12:40 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

I've got way too much cowbell, but no fever or prescription.

tradesies?