blow my mind away with fake facts

  On 5/23/2012 at 1:29 AM, kaini said:

narnia is actually in my butt

Thats weird. Lord of the Rings took place in Tolkien's urethra, the last sentence of the last book he writes " Then i opened my peehole using my fingers and saw frodo", something like that i can't remember.

'frodo' will be the most popular haircut of 2016

  On 5/23/2012 at 1:35 AM, YO303 said:

  On 5/23/2012 at 1:29 AM, kaini said:

narnia is actually in my butt

 

Thats weird. Lord of the Rings took place in Tolkien's urethra, the last sentence of the last book he writes " Then i opened my peehole using my fingers and saw frodo", something like that i can't remember.

in the silmarillion it's actually revealed that he inserts one of those really long matchsticks into himself and when he pulls it out it turns out we're all actually made of people.

narnia was actually the creation of j.r.r. tolkien as a more "adult" alternative to his lord of the rings series. originally, the children are drawn into a fantasy land where they explore their sexuality with a variety of creatures from christian mythology. the one off novel was designed to upset tolkien's friend c.s. lewis, who was celibate until, well into his sixties, he accidentally impregnated a young whore who tolkien had hired to "finally fuck that geezer". distraught over his unwanted lovechild, lewis abandoned his career as an academic and plunged into a financial abyss. tolkien, a multi millionaire after the success of the hobbit, gifted the narnia idea to lewis in the hopes that it would help him take care of the child and his new whore bride. guilt ridden, lewis changed the narnia books into a christian allegory, left his newborn and wife with a heaping of debt, and ran off to malaysia to sleep with young boys and live off his narnia fortune.

and it all happens in my butt

If you leave hotdogs in the fridge too long they become butterflies made entirely of pork

all antacids are made from the same thing, and they actually give you MORE indigestion. they're all marketed by the milk companies.

If you leave your finger in your butt for 15 hours, you turn into a candle

it takes the wax from eleven antelopes to make church incense. antelopes are endangered because christianity.

The distance between countries is highly exaggerated so that travel companies can make more money by selling goods on air flight journeys

All candy corn was made sometime in the 1960's, each year the candy corn that isn't sold is recalled and put into storage until next year when they re-package it and ship it back out to stores.

brian eno is actually two women called paula and mary.

Aphex Twin no longer releases solo material because he actually ghostwrites & performs all of Nickelback's music.

squarepusher has a phobia of pushing squares

if you play '4' backwards it's actually directions to a hidden cove in cornwall where there's a magic turnip buried. if you eat the turnip on a full moon you will turn into nine drum machines.

mexican people are filled with candy, so you should hit them with wiffle ball bats until the candy comes out

jhonn balance was actually the reincarnation of lord lucan and if you called him out on this fact he was obligated to give you a TB-303

The 303's distinctive sound was the result of a mix-up at the manufacturing plant. The intended 303 soundchip was accidentally installed in a line of plush talking Donald Duck toys, & vice versa. If you look carefully on Ebay you can sometimes find one of these ducks for sale. I suggest snapping them up - they make surprisingly authentic bass guitar lines.

a human fart is the closest approximation of god's true name—watch pi and turn it up really loud for the quiet parts. you'll see

I just made love to your mom and she was amazing as usual. Such a beautiful lady.

check out this asshole! biggest prick on facebook, without a doubt. http://facebook.com/profile.php?=73322363

lol

  On 5/23/2012 at 1:47 AM, Cryptowen said:

If you leave hotdogs in the fridge too long they become butterflies made entirely of pork

lol

"sifl and olly" is a phonetic anagram of "awful and silly"

SIFL = SILLY AWFUL

OLLY = AWFUL SILLY

not really fake so much as unsure whether that was intended

  On 5/23/2012 at 1:09 AM, o00o said:

watmm is actually owned by WARP and Joyrex is Steve Beckett, ET was Venetian Snares and Troon /Redruth is Grant from rephlex

heheh this one could actually be true