blow my mind away with fake facts

the first computer was made in the 13th century out of an old powerbook and had dial-up.

(believable b/c dial-up is so slow and like so long ago!)

the first internet connection was plugged into kaini's butt.

jesus was a pedo

  On 5/27/2012 at 8:30 PM, Cryptowen said:

The cactus is a carnivorous plant (much like the Venus Fly Trap), trapping prey on its quills & draining their life force for sustenance (much like the porcupine). Tumbleweeds are in fact drained skeletons, held together by cactus saliva which acts as a zombificant that causes the tumbleweed to wander the desert looking for wildlife to bring back to its host.

 

The cactus has a benign herbivore cousin commonly referred to as the cucumber.

lol, I really like yours, Cryptowen

everything has already happened and that which has happened before does not exist. we are perpetually stagnant and in a constant state of movement simultaneously, yet we perceive everything incrementally, thus we are frozen solid in our minds, while traveling trillions of time faster then the speed of light. i've experienced this many times, actually, although i am not fully aware of it. it happens to me when i sleep, it can happen also when i'm not able to sleep or when i am on the toilet. sometimes the water from the toilet will splash up on my anus when poop drops, just as i am finally able to sleep and i wake abruptly, to find it was my poop that was traveling at such tremendous speed and i was only pulled by its suction. the flushing action of the toilet water then creates a vortex that pulls me in and i find myself trapped in the sewer lateral, pressed together as though i was mashed in a jar. only then do i feel true freedom. it is as though the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. amazing euphoria rushes through my body as i gulp mouthfuls of feces infused water into my stomach and lungs. i am one with everything, i can see the light. it glows with the luminance of a thousand burning suns. i am finally home.

steve jobs designed the apple II after an encounter with a psychic cube while on a three day lsd binge in a field in northern california. jobs saw the cube appear in the treeline and hover toward him when it stopped and began to spin. the cube imprinted with jobs and showed him a schematic for an integrated keyboard and floppy drive. it then emanated a blue light and disappeared. jobs would later attempt to recreate the cube with his failed nextcube and g4 cube designs, but the true nature of the cube would forever elude him. his last words before succumbing to cancer were apparently, "oh wow oh wow oh wow...fuckin' cubes man".

The moon is actually the center of the earth. It was magically extracted out of the center of the Earth by the wizard Zos in his attempt to help the seasons and cycles of the earth become more balanced. To help the newly created female humans have a proper cycle to know when they are most fertile . When to know the right time to mate. There was also the most important need for a place to store the dragons that were destroying everything at the time, which was 10,105 bce.

The universe was created in six days, 6000 years ago.

The existence of the Yeti, or 'Abominable Snowman', could have been proved beyond all doubt in the 1950s. One such creature was for a time employed by Sir Edmund Hillary as a sherpa, but the famous mountaineer didn't bother to take any pictures or anything, as he "thought nowt of it at the time".

I need to get some finer tip markers

  On 5/27/2012 at 10:48 PM, Caretstik said:

The Moon is actually just The Sun with the lights off.

i like this one! short 'n sweet

in 1995, the existing internet was replaced with what we now know as 'the internet'. the existing TCP/IP standard was replaced with a new one which contained two bytes at the start of every packet identified as 'reserved' in every standard. if you access a government site, these two bytes actually contain longitude and latitude, and they are recorded in a database that has existed since 1976 on an AS/400 mainframe located under cheyenne mountain.

  On 5/29/2012 at 3:22 AM, kaini said:

in 1995, the existing internet was replaced with what we now know as 'the internet'. the existing TCP/IP standard was replaced with a new one which contained two bytes at the start of every packet identified as 'reserved' in every standard. if you access a government site, these two bytes actually contain longitude and latitude, and they are recorded in a database that has existed since 1976 on an AS/400 mainframe located under cheyenne mountain.

fucking lol

AS/400 makes it.

Vinyl records are older than you might think. Ever the innovator, William Shakespeare released a number of his tragedies on as spoken-word albums on 12" heavyweight vinyl, often spread over 2 or 3 discs. Original pressings are rather unsurprisingly quite collectable today: a copy of the bard's double album 'Coriolanus' recently sold on Discogs for £65.

*adds to wantlist*

poop is congealed pee.

your poop cannot be longer than your maximum penis length.

If your hand is bigger than your face, I fucked your mom

if you're reading this then you're actually dead and this is a dream. it's funny how in your dreams you have to go poop sometimes.

Every hour, one of the persons that you talked to at some point of your life, dies.

  On 5/29/2012 at 6:05 PM, kokoon said:

Every hour, one of the persons that you talked to at some point of your life, dies.

This one made me think too much right now. Might be this beer here, but I'm certain there's depth in here.

after you die, after your ego ceases to exist and your consciousness shuts down, the energy that was once you is released back into the universe where it is absorbed into the natural world, into the trees and grass and water molecules in the air and into other human beings and, most of all, into my dick while i'm fucking your mom

Bait Car will become the highest rated, and only show on television.

all your friends on watmm are not real

I have the most bad ass girlfriend ever right now.

one base belong to me