blow my mind away with fake facts

People who are in comas are 8 times more likely to have wet dreams because of thier inability to get themselves off

C.H.U.D.'s are not actually purely cannibalistic.

They eat the shit in the sewage systems, within all cities.

Of course they still eat unsuspecting bums and orphans.

Humans can breed with7k

Year 2022: Barack Obama the former American president was found to be a robot. This great secret was unmasked so to speak today when a bus hit him and skin and servos went flying in the street.

Whenever a male animal/human ejaculates the sperm doesn´t "shoot" out of the penis, it´s the penis/body that moves away from the sperm. The thrust is so powerful that it does not only push the individual, but the whole earth with all it´s inhabitants in the opposite direction of the impuls.

This was not easy to oberserve for scientists, since the constant back and forth ejaculation-impulses create a smooth rotation of the earth, beatifully orchestrated by nature. However scientists found out, the impuls that follows upon a regular seminal outburst was possible to be observed in the nearby surroundings. And by collecting a huge amount of data, they found a correlation between the sperm to penis distance and the intensity with witch nearby female buttocks or boobies started to jiggle due to the created impact.

Scientists believe that by measuring a planets rotation speed they can finally calculate how often it´s male inhabitants ejaculate and which direction they prefer.

bono has worn a specially designed mullet shaped wig since the mid-eighties when he lost his hair after going through chemotherapy to eradicate the cancer that was growing in his testicles. he had planned the joshua tree as a swan song before his inevitable demise, but the cancer went into remission. his hair never grew back. brian eno asked bono to remove the wig when recording achtung baby in berlin, but he refused. he called eno a bald cunt. eno stormed out of the studio and bono wrote "even better than the real thing" as an ode to his mullet shaped wig. eno never returned and the wig produced the rest of the album, giving credit to eno. bono's wig began to fuse with his scalp at some point on the zoo tv tour. the edge told bono it was the wig or the band. bono fired the edge and the two remaining members quit. U2 has not existed as a band since the late nineties and is now the solo project of bono's mullet shaped wig which is a parasitic organism feeding on his massive ego.

agreed

  On 5/30/2012 at 1:37 AM, Atop said:

feelings are really just the little girl in you trying to make you seem like a pussy.

haha

you can actually buff off your wife's wrinkles if you get the right kind of sandpaper and rub hard enough at just the right angle

The scrotum is actually part turtle and part venus fly trap with two brains.

I was born without testicles.

Prometheus was filmed by Stanley Kubrick before 2001

Human bone marrow is more expensive in weight than gold.

Edit: Actually, that's probably true, right?

  On 6/13/2012 at 2:41 PM, Gary C said:

Human bone marrow is more expensive in weight than gold.

 

Edit: Actually, that's probably true, right?

it's definitely more delicious

If you add toothpaste to a bag of pop-rocks and allow the mixture to harden, then run a fuse into it you have just created a plastic explosive

Every apartment building in the United States contains at least one adolescent Native American skull.

PBS children's show Wishbone was actually cancelled when it's attempt to adapt James Joyce's Ulysses ran into an onslaught of production difficulties and script redoes.

Kill a person, take their brain out, mash it up with a stone mortar & pestle, mix in some ambergris and bat semen, rub the fine paste into your Suprasternal Notch... If this is done correctly you will absorb the aggregate of knowledge and sexual prowess of your victim (choose wisely).

  On 6/13/2012 at 2:41 PM, Gary C said:

Human bone marrow is more expensive in weight than gold.

 

Edit: Actually, that's probably true, right?

Probably for somebody needing a transplant.

there is a secret forum on this site which is only available to an elite group of members.

Nobody is stupid.

Autechre makes good music.

i am not cat

  On 1/29/2013 at 3:50 AM, usagi said:

Autechre is actually a front, the music itself is produced by a team of illegal immigrants working round the clock in sweatshop studio conditions.

awe that was so much better than mine.

StephenG fail.

7 narrow men inside a paper mache submarine will weight more than 3 hallow elephants holding copies of Muse's Absolution.