blow my mind away with fake facts

Feces is everywhere. We are all constantly inhaling it or absorbing it through our skin. This is what causes cancer.

Plastic is actually made from robot feces.

"Take what you can from life and turn the seemingly bad times into somewhat more pleasant times. Take lemons and make pudding, if you have sugar, eggs and cream of course." - Sir Wratcherd Frothington Mathers VIII

on your computerscreen in front of you you have a lot of microbiological specimen growing. they grow of the body liquids you breathe against the screen and grow constantly in front of your as they have a warm and great place to reinfect your face as they wish.

during the late 1960s to mid 1970's Whoopie Goldberg was a ranking officer in the Viet Cong and fought against america during the tet offensive in 1968, where she earned 17 kills before being wounded by a bradley tank being driven by the cast of Cheers (of course they werent actors at this point and barely knew each other) after that, whoopie was different. much different.

also grass is actually blue, but humans percieve it as being green, purely so that they can use the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side"

creationism is real

Douglas Adams is alive and helping to write this thread.

Every individual perceives colour differently, but because we grow up calling all green green it doesn't matter.

For all you know your green could be my purple.

Nick Clegg is the best Deputy Prime Minister of all time. WATMM members were exactly right to vote for him and his party at the last general election because he abolished student tuition fees and brought in a new voting system because what our country needs now more than anything is a new way method to vote in our wonderful politicians.

Cats are actually ancient Egyptian synthetic life form tech. Being early androids, their purpose was originally to relay info between scribe - pharaoh - magi via telepathic communication as well as keeping watch over the peasants/slaves to make sure they remained illiterate and unaware of the closely guarded secret magick rituals practiced by the Royalty. After the fall of the Egyptian dynasties, the cats began watching us, relaying information to one another, making sure we were not aware of any ancient magickal practices and that we read materials of a non-magickal variety. The deaths amongst humans because of reading was at an all time high during the Black Plague, which was actually an elaborate plan to destroy all humanity because of mass literacy. The cats finally allowed reading be allowed as long as it was only reading the bible and other non-magickal texts. When a human is found to have such knowledge of certain ancient rituals, said human or humans die an "accidental" death, murdered by their seemingly harmless pet cat or a group of cats from the neighborhood. This is a deciding factor in why atheists enjoy cats more than wizards do.

lolcats & the general prevalence of feline-related content online is actually a massive viral marketing campaign by the pet food industry. Before the late 90s cats were only the 7th most popular pet in America, behind dogs, fish, rodents, birds, reptiles, & rocks with googly eyes glued to them.

everything in this thread is correct..

  On 5/23/2012 at 10:10 PM, Cryptowen said:

lolcats & the general prevalence of feline-related content online is actually a massive viral marketing campaign by the pet food industry. Before the late 90s cats were only the 7th most popular pet in America, behind dogs, fish, rodents, birds, reptiles, & rocks with googly eyes glued to them.

i have a cat-shaped stony thing that has googly eyes glued to it. it even has a tail and 4 legs.

most popular pet ever.

it usually sits on the flat side of my old Inkel mixer.

The only piece of equipment owned and used by Richard D James is a modified Theremin.

  On 5/23/2012 at 10:38 PM, Atop said:

The only piece of equipment owned and used by Richard D James is his modified cock which acts as a Theremin would.

Fixed.

The middle part of the dark side of the moon is actually a light spot because the last live volcano left on the moon is right in the center of it.

Nasa retrieved this information from cameras, mounted on trained grey herons, the only species of birds to be able to fly that high and far.

I know this to be true, because Michael Jackson told me.

Butter is actually an ocean-dwelling creature related to the Sea Cucumber or the Mussel. It is placed in suspended animation & sold live, doomed to an excruciating death as it is whittled away over the course of many days (the reason it's so easy to cut is because it's a deep sea creature not used to the lack of pressure). If you immerse an uncut block of butter in salt water it will become reanimated, provided it has not yet reached the expiry date.

the word 'tyrant' was created after a dispute over a tie

it all makes sense now

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.

The word sheeple was developed as a handy tool for quickly detecting libertarians & people who post on Reddit

The word fake actually means real in Laotian.

  On 5/22/2012 at 10:57 PM, kokeboka said:

you CAN simply walk into Mordor

Tom Jones has a summer home built near the Lake District made completely out of female undergarments.

sriracha is actually made from devil semen

  On 5/24/2012 at 8:53 PM, patternoverlap said:

sriracha is actually made from devil semen