pub roleplay thread

Hey mate, long time no see. Sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear you. Ah, yeah. Totally. Hang on, going to the toilet, brb.

So it's like a Tiramisu?

  impakt said:

Hey mate, long time no see. Sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear you. Ah, yeah. Totally. Hang on, going to the toilet, brb.

DONT DO IT THE URINAL SPRAYERS ARENT FIXED.

  autopilot said:

So it's like a Tiramisu?

Technically we're in Batter country.

big batter cups of extreme deliciousness.

OH SHIIIIIIIIIII *urinal sprays all over pants*

*walks past the bar que farting*

I inflate an elephant shaped dirigible in the main room.

Can I get a Cranberry Juice???

I make a Yorkshire pudding in the middle of the floor.

*accidently steps on the yorkshire pudding*

now I let a pack of well starved wild dogs loose

I'M HUNGRY AND IN A BAD MOOD

*sidles up to luke and screams in his ear*

GOOD EVENING FAGGOT

I'LL BE YOUR SERVER

THE FUCK YOU WANT?

SOME TYLENOL, LOL

AND SOME EAR SYRUP

*chews an entire bottle of tylenol and slowly massages the grainy, slobbery paste into luke's ear with his tongue*

lol, oh god thats sick, but kool.

My shift is fucking over, I've been behind this bar for two days now.

*leaves*

lol, sorry mate, its my shift now.

COME ON CUNTS WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVING YO!

Is this fucking fruity fixed or what?

I put £15 in and won SHIT ALL.

FUCK THIS PUB.

  Sir Winston said:

Is this fucking fruity fixed or what?

 

I put £15 in and won SHIT ALL.

 

FUCK THIS PUB.

Yes its fixed and I've been watching you play, why you always holding the left and right bars and letting the middle spin you dick? All 3 have to rotate at some point you fucking knob.

  Quote

Yes its fixed and I've been watching you play, why you always holding the left and right bars and letting the middle spin you dick? All 3 have to rotate at some point you fucking knob.

I won £3.

Double gin and tonic please. We allowed to light up in this pub?

Comin' right up, go for it, fuck da police.

This is London

*returns from smoking outside*

*closes curtains*

*smokes*

that was close guys, there's a police car slowly driving down the road checkin pub windows

*throws a midget in through the saloon doors*

*runs off*

Hey little guy, watcha doin'?