pub roleplay thread

oo oo i'm an ingrown pube look at me creating a red swollen infection

I cast lightning bolt on you.

Can I get a glass of water? I think I'm choking on a cockle

*strolls behind bar, pours self a cranberry juice*

*feels like a regular*

Was around for a long time yeah, was also known as nekta round these parts. But in this pub, this sacred shrine to drinking and eating salty snacks, it does not matter what my name is.

Free cockles are amazing, they cost shitloads in the shop down the road. Oh also pork scratchings, yes or no?

fancy a game of pool nekta?

heads or tails?

*coughs up small plastic fork*

...that feels better

Always heads.

tails never fails, i'll break

ohhh what a break, potter a red and yellow, think i'll go red.

pork scratchings - yes when properly mullerd. suspect seafood bought from a balding cockney - always.

anyway, old girl served me a pint of mostly head. gonna right kick off, arrrrrr.

WHO THE FUCK IS SERVING DODGY IN THIS PUB?

That side of the table is rolling badly, that shot was always going in.

ORCS STORM THROUGH THE DOOR

*rolls dice*

ABUSIVEGEORGE DIES

  abusivegeorge said:

WHO THE FUCK IS SERVING DODGY IN THIS PUB?

Goddamit . . . 

*puts on apron*

*puts drinks on bar for Capsaicin and autopilot*

I CAST IMBIBE LEVEL 3

  autopilot said:

I CAST IMBIBE LEVEL 3

No way in hell you rolled that.

*buys round for everyone*

  OneToThirtySix said:

No way in hell you rolled that.

UH....

*rolls three d20*

I SPILL THE DRINK ALL OVER MY SHIRT AND PUKE ON THE BAR

*buys autopilot some water*

  autopilot said:

UH....

 

*rolls three d20*

 

I SPILL THE DRINK ALL OVER MY SHIRT AND PUKE ON THE BAR

*nudges bowl of nuts autopilot's way*

*pours water into bowl of salted nuts*

*passes out*

*puts penis in autopilot's mouth and takes a picture*

*wakes up during insertion*

*cracks open an eye to see if 1-36 notices*

*pretends to still be asleep*

*traces penis with Sharpie on autopilot's cheek*

That'll learn you to soak nuts on my bar, you lightweight! No more free drinks from me!